For many of us, the topic of fairy tale is nothing more than a childhood fantasy. It's an unrealistic dream that people in the everyday world use to give them an energy boost to make it through these dreary, mediocre lives we must live. As we get older we get used to the phases, "Wake up, fairy tales don't happen in real life." and "Welcome to the real world, kid." So we might as well accept the fact that fairy tales are nothing more than ink fiction that covers the pages of child books with lies, right?
WRONG.
My hope for true fairy tales in this upside down, crazy world had all but vanished, that is until I was slapped awake to the truth. "Bull," my anonymous gentleman friend told me, quoting his wise church companion. "Fairy tales are real. I am living my fairy tale every day. You just need to find your fairy tale and go out there and live it."
Why do we give up on fairy tales? Is it because love seems like an impossible feat? Is it because nearly half of marriages end in divorce? Or maybe we've just been searching for Mr./Mrs. Right so long that we've simply given up that it would ever happen.
I'm not going to tell you that there's a way to save every marriage or that there's something wrong with couples that have been married more than once. But I will tell you something my anonymous gentleman friend told me, to paraphrase his wise mother. "Look out in the sky and pick a star," she told him. "There are an infinite number of stars out there. While you sit here and wonder if you'll ever find love, your soul mate is out there wondering where you are."
Have you ever noticed that all Fairy tales have a "Happily Ever After"? This is the only part about fairy tales I don't believe. Even after the dashing hero in tights sweeps the maiden off her feet, there's more that happens as they ride towards the sunset. I think that this is why so many people don't believe in fairy tales. It's not the Once Upon a Time, it's the Happily Ever After.
If you found a precious jewel, you would treasure it. Some people might sell it, but others might keep it and savor it. The jewel would be put on a pedestal for all to admire and long for. If someone tried to steal this jewel, the owner would fight to get it back. No matter how many years pass, the story would be the same. But now imagine that this precious jewel was left out. The owner prized it at first, but after a while he got tired of cleaning it, caring for it, watching it, and treasuring it. What would happen? The jewel would get covered in dirt and dust. The beautiful shine would fade over the years making it look old and plain. Nothing would protect it from robbers, rain, cars, or even natural disasters. And one day, eventually, it would be shattered and lost forever.
This is like love. As people, we expect our Happily Ever Afters to come before the Once Upon a Time. But if you don't prize the jewel, or the heart of your spouse, than what is keeping it safe, clean, shining, and beautiful? I know I'm not married yet, and I haven't even been engaged, but if you're reading this you know that I am right. If a couple wants to keep their relationship thriving with love and romance they must both put forward the effort to prize the gem.
I know what you married people are thinking. Well how can I prize a man who doesn't even love himself? or How can I take care of her when she is constantly nagging me? Like I said, it's a jointed effort. They do call it "joined in holy matrimony" don't they?
Do you really think that Prince Valiant never got annoyed with Snow White's high pitched voice and obsession with midgets? Do you think that Cinderella wasn't annoyed by Prince Charming's foot fetish? And do you honestly believe that Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) wasn't driven mad with Prince Philip's creeper like tendencies (dancing with strangers in the forest and kissing women in their sleep)? We all have flaws and annoying habits, even in fairy tales. Nobody's perfect, but that doesn't mean their worth our patience, love, and care.
I highly doubt that the troubles of the fairy tale princes and princesses ended as they rode into the sunset. All couples have problems, especially after marriage. But by working together to honor, respect, care for, protect, and cherish the precious jewel we call love, than our fairy tales become reality.
I believe with all my heart that there are real life fairy tales out there happening everyday, and now I'd like you to share yours. After reading this, please send me an email or a Facebook message and tell me your story. I will keep your names confidential, but I would love to show this world real examples of true love.
I can't share my story, because my fairy tale is still being written. Here's my parting advice for my single readers (as well as a few of my married ones). Don't focus on living "Happily Ever After" but instead allow yourself to live in "Once Upon a Time". Cherish this life you have, because once it's done that's it, no do overs.
If you have ever seen the movie 50 First Dates you know it's one of the most romantic stories ever. Even though your spouse may not have short term memory loss (I'm sure some of you wish they did) I encourage you to live in this Once Upon a Time mindset that Henry Roth (Adam Sandler) portrays to Lucy Whitmore (Drew Barrymore). Even though he could have had any girl in the world, Roth fell in love with a girl who would forever live the same day every day for the rest of her life. Instead of being discouraged or scared off by Whitmore's father, brother, and friends, Roth goes out of his way to find a new way to make her fall in love with him every day. Despite her condition, he loves her without fault. Later in the movie he even makes VHS tapes (that's right! Good old video tapes!) to remind her of everything she forgot, and then proceeds to make her fall in love with him again (even after they have a kid).
When his best friend Ula asks him if he's sure he wants to marry her, even when she gets old, fat, ugly, and naggy (paraphrasing of course) Roth answers without hesitation "I do". If all couples could live in this Once Upon a Time mindset where they love each other unconditionally and put forth the efforts to make each other fall in love every day, than the world will see less divorce and more true love stories.
Someone once said, "Every once in awhile in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale." So tell me, when has love handed you a Fairy Tale?
